Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
