I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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