Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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