Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize