Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
