the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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