She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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