biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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