She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
