mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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