If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Can i not drive my cunt home
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
