i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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