What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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