if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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