You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
