You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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