How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
