drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
