She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
