dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
