My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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