tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
