we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
