Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
