whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
