Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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