break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
