and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
