Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
