So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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