what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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