She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
