No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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