I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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