idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize