question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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