addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
