All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
