I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
