I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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