Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
should my penis look like a turkey
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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