Who did Billy Mays play for?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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