i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
