If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize