when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
