Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
