do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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