i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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