And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
