She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
