You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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