Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
