Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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