I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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