You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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