3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
