She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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